GOP Selects Mayor of Southpark to lead nation.

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south park palin

(South Park, Colorado, USA) 72 year-old GOP frontrunner John McCain selected a cute gung ho lady from near the north pole as his selection. Her experience, nearly zero – her cute-a-bility, pretty high, but that’s it aside from being the mayor of South Park a few years ago. The fact that she’s 44 and accomplished pretty much is great, but really in the world arena – what does this white girl from Alaska have to offer McCain? A last desperate hope. Yes she changes the race, but I don’t think all the fervent Hillary supporters that saw the DNC speech will care too much. Palin is pro-abortion, she is pro-oil, She and best of all, she is pro-war…

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Obama: “I get It, McCain doesn’t get It.”

Barack Obama gets "It"

(Denver, Colorado). “John McCain doesn’t get It.” A quote that very may well turn the tide for the Democratic hipster in 2008.

On a truly historic night where America was catapulted into the 21st century by one man’s vision family, friends, and cousin It anxiously watched our future unfold at Mile High Stadium. Yes, tonight belonged to Barack Obama, a man reigned supreme on decisive issues facing this nation from abortion to gay rights and the right to bear arms all the way to the economy, and the old guard of John McCain. This speech was was clearly of a different tone than his breakthrough 2004 speech at the DNC, but the speech played very well in the unconventional stadium setting addressing things from global energy to his humble origins born in the Heartland. Barack loves our country, McCain loves our country, but let’s not have 4 more of the same and move on towards change in the 21st century.

“John McCain doesn’t get It.” – Barack Obama

That being said, let’s delve into the vision of these two men. No matter what you take from the DNC or hope to expect to see in the GOP, one difference is clear. Obama gets It, McCain does not get It.

It defines us, It is a beacon of a future of finding a common ground. says Obama. On the other hand, McCain of the old guard pedigree refuses to concede or find anything funny about It.

John McCain remembers the old Addams family series as part of every American’s fall lineup. “Of the three channels available, I have always been a fan of the news programs, no fancy stories or hullabaloo. If people want to watch a comedic drama with the stars of the day such as Jerry Lewis, Cousin It, or red button’s – so be it – but my money is on Cronkite.”

“He just don’t understand what the American people want, and I just don’t get It!” says John McCain.

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Bigfoot captures America. Yeti up in arms.

(Washington DC) Bigfoot or the” Sasquatch” has been allegedly captured and killed in the name America’s blood thirsty megalomaniac media. “This is sweeping America and this should be China’s time.” said the Himalayan man, or known locally as “Yeti.” He went on to say, ” We have the Olympics, clean air, Super Wal-mart store, and biggest Dam… 2008 is supposed to be year of the Rat, I just didn’t think it would it would be a dirty rat playing possum, he’s not dead – he’s stealing China’s spotlight.”

Yeti has a point. This very may well me a genius PR move by Bigfoot to again best Yeti as the international man of mystery. It happened in the 70’s with a video, the 80’s with a movie, the 90’s with a clothing line, yet we haven’t seen anything from Bigfoot in quite some time – this could be it- the Summer stunner where Bigfoot wakes up and jumps out of a cake only to best China’s Yeti. The news conference covered by CNN later today might truly put the Yeti up in arms.

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