Blackberrry, meet the Pomegranate Phone

(FAQ NEWS) The Pomegranate is the ultimate phone is both versatility & style.

Filed under: Uncategorized , blackberry, device. gizmo, fake news, faq, faq news, gadget, iphone, phone, pomegranate

Consumer Lines up for Democracy

(Jacksonville, Florida) The much anticipated Guns N’ Roses effort, Chinese Democracy, was released with a vanguard marketing push during regular business hours for a Jacksonville, Florida retail store.

“I was the first in line, and they weren’t no wait t”all” That’s right, first there come midnight, slept in the truck, got hassled by an old high school buddy cop around 4 or so, and bam, 10 am rolls around – I lept up and grabbed the f**ker before the crowds hit. I heard that votin’ was a mad house this year, I hate that sh*t…politicians ain’t nothing but taxin’ theives, axl never let’s me down – i can’t wait to throw my money down for Democracy’!

Filed under: Uncategorized , axl, best buy, democracy, guns n' roses

Ruthless Leader Taunts Peasants

(FAQ NEWS) Ruthless leader Sarah Palin taunts peasants in a manor befitting for an ice queen.

Filed under: Uncategorized , Add new tag, fake news, faq, faq news, palin turkey, pardon turkey, sarah palin, turkey video

St. Dick is Coming!

North Pole (FAQ NEWS) – Just as Santa Claus has Santa South, St. Nick has a St. Dick. Let’s take a look at some of the hijinks this merry prankster has pulled on Capitalist America and the western world in the past 75 years.

1925- dyed sleeping hipsters hair forcing these Victorian hold outs to cut their hair and starting the bob.

1928- attempts to introduce acid wash jeans, yet is foiled by the midnight express smashing his sled as he is belligerently drunk with the hobos, teaching them their code.

1929-Starts rumors he is bigfoot, stalks, eats nature types and pioneers in the grand teton forcing the federal goverent to section it off until the market crashes and they can’t enforce jurisdiction due to funding.

1929-Market crashes

1932-Gives Hitler one of those books Biff stole from the back to the future movies enabling him to know the wargames of the allied forces for ten years, makes up everything after 1942, Rommel get brunt of bad joke and loses his credibility as a general

1948- Tricks Mahatma Ghandi to step on a rake on camera thus killing him, creating first “candid camera” – paves the way for national craze for Bob Saget in later part of the century.

1955- The “Dick Riot” starts in Montreal, Quebec forever giving a bad name to the French Canadians.

1967- Steal the Kansas City Chiefs Souls for a “guaranteed” win over the Green bay Packers. Packer trump chiefs, forever remembering that chilling moment, even in eternal burning hell.

1977- It snows in Miami, so St. Dick can get the Snow job of the century as he still calls it.

1988-Super Mario 3 is released, a minus level of eternal damnation covers hokkaido japan, a generation is lost and sent to the ice coal mines working for Santa South.

1999- Y2K Plan foiled to blow up world at the end of Prince Song right at the buzzer.

2000- Tryst with Jack Frost and Mother Nature

2001- Seals the deal with “The Madden Curse”

2005- Michael Jackson doesn’t pay up, gets in serious trouble.

2008-We will see, but I’d stay away from the gravy this year!

Filed under: Uncategorized , 12 days of christmas, bad santa, christmas, fake news, faq, faq news, hobo santa, north pole, parody, santa, santa south, st. nick. st. dick, timeline, xmas, xxxmas

Sum Wang to replace Jerry Yang

Sunnyvale, CA (FAQ NEWS) – Jerry Wang is a Taiwanese American entrepreneur and the Co-founder, former CEO and Chief Yahoo! of Yahoo! Inc. As of 2008, his net worth is estimated to be US$2.3 billion and is ranked 524th among the richest people in the world according to Forbes.

Today he stated that he will step down amidst criticism from his own board, the Microsoft fallout giving fierce unknown warrior billionaire, Sum Icahn Wang 杨致远 complete power over the Silicon Valley Search and content company that now declares “to all do evil”

Filed under: Uncategorized , evil, icahn, microsoft, replacement, silicon valley, stanford, sum wang, wang, yahoo, yang

Pirates Seize Massive Booty

(FAQ NEWS) Somali pirates hijacked a superbooty hundreds of miles off the Horn of Africa, seizing the Saudi-owned loot loaded with crude and its 25-member crew, the U.S. Navy said Monday.

“It is not unusual for Pirates to plunder and pillage, but a booty this big, is hard to come by.” said Mediterranean ship captain, Magabu Cefalù, a sailor who covets the booty almost as much as the open seas.

Booty snatching is up almost 75% this year in the ransom hungry area off of the tip of Africa called, “Booty Bay.”

Piracy is considered the most lucrative work in Somalia. Pirates rarely hurt their hostages, instead holding out for a huge payday which taste delicious compared to the starving conditions they are subjected to and scare booty calls in a country that has one of the lowest per capita cell phone statistics in the world

Filed under: Uncategorized , booty, massive booty, oil, pirates, saudi, ship, somalia

Mark Cuban charged with electrifying dance moves.

Havana, Cuba (FAQ) “It’s the shoes, baby.” declared confident playboy and basketballroom dancer, Mark Cuban. “Us cubans are the all the same, we love rum, cigars, and dancing.”

That may be, but the NBC, CBS, and the SEC aren’t laughing as they claim that Mark Cuban may have illegally traded Jason Kidd’s Nike Air Zoom Five Flights to gain an unfair advantage in ABC’s hit show, “Dancing with the stars.”

During the course of this interview in Cuban’s area sized kitchen he more than once pulled out a few Bruce Cambell lines while gliding around with direct eye contact and a really, really big smile. “I didn’t take their shoes, read my blog, watch my team win games. I don’t need any favors… I can dance.” Yes, he can. But can he take flight for seemingly minutes at a time normally, meaning, can he fly?” This is what the networks are looking to find out.

In other news Jason Kidd’s vertical jump has suffered this year grounding the guard to an all-time low scoring season.

Filed under: Uncategorized , abc, blog, dance moves, mark cuban, mavericks, sec

“Great Scott!” Flux Capacitor Fuels Fire in Hollywood Hills.

 

Los Angeles, California (FAQ NEWS) “Great Scott” exclaimed a visibly shaken Christopher Lloyd amidst rubble where his home used to stand. “I can remember building this place like 1985 was just yesterday… “Boy, look at that, “ Lloyd said as he approached the rubble. “All this happens in a couple of minutes.”

 

Neighbors, remember when Lloyd was unshakable, a huge mega-star of hit shows like Taxi, movies such as Back to the Future I through III, and independent films like Merry Christmas Space Case. Through the years the eccentric actor has created a huge fan base touring the country as “Doc” the eccentric genius and creator of the flux capacitor, the inventor of once fictional ideas like “time travel.”

 

“I’ve slipped since Marty lost interest in the series, I piled the DeLorean, and all my belongings into that house… along with the flux capacitor and my future shades.”

 

It looks like Chris Lloyd won’t be going back to future anytime soon.

Filed under: faq , back to the future, christopher lloyd, doc, fake news, faq, faq news, fire, flux capacitor, great scott