During his history-making visit Thursday with Jay Leno, President Obama lambasted the nation’s mentally handicapped for not pulling their weight. President Obama went on to say, “For too long we have held out a helping hand. It’s time we cut ties with those with special needs. In these tough economic times, we cannot afford to help those who cannot help themselves.”
According to sources close to the White House, the President reportedly invited the nation’s mentally handicapped to surrender to Pennsylvania Avenue by hosting a free ice cream social.
Filed under: Uncategorized , leno, nbc, obama, pr, special olympics, white house
March 19, 2009 • 10:21 pm
AIG’s Liddy to face grilling…
Filed under: Uncategorized , aig, congress, grilling, liddy
AFTER LONG LEGAL BATTLE, DR. MANHATTAN’S PENIS RESTING SAFELY AT PLANET HOLLYWOOD. See for yourself…
Filed under: Uncategorized , blue penis, dr. manahatten, penis, planet, planet hollywood
(ELMHURST, ILLINOIS) Larry Hurdle was playing an intense game of World of Warcraft (WoW) when the vision came to him and he saw Lothar point his spear into the sky and gain 242 points. It was at that very moment Carl, his 34 year friend living next store IM’d him about stock markets going through the roof up 242 points. As Of Montreal was playing a little too loud and larry was in his 16th hour of WoW he mistakenly understood that the stock market was going through his roof.
“I’m a little zoned but could be that old Antenna or some sh*t, It’s almost time to get beer again.” Larry IM’d back to Carl regarding the situation.
Filed under: Uncategorized , im, stocks, wall street, WoW
(WASHINGTON FAQ BUREAU) Top banking regulators were taken aback late last year when a California congresswoman helped set up a meeting in which the chief executive of a bank with financial ties to her family asked them for up to $50 million in “special” funds.
What is your take?
Filed under: Uncategorized , bank, califonia congresswoman, funds
NEW YORK (FAQNews.Net) — Bernard Madoff, who stole billions from investment clients, was ordered jailed Thursday after pleading guilty to all 11 criminal counts in one of Wall Street’s biggest swindles ever.
“I operated a Pudding scheme,” said Madoff to the packed courtroom, after U.S. District Judge Denny Chin told him to explain his crimes.
“I thought it would end quickly, but it proved impossible,” said Madoff, who stole from thousands of victims through his investment firm. “I am ashamed for these criminal acts. I always knew this day would come.”
U.S. District Court Judge Denny Chin remanded the 70-year-old to jail following his confession. He was taken to Manhattan Correctional Center, near the courthouse in lower Manhattan. Chin confessed his own folly for believing that Madoff’s Pudding diet and warned the court that any sort of all sugar diet is suspect, except the chocolate diet which he said would help him cut the girth of his own chin in just six weeks.
Filed under: Uncategorized , court, denny chin, madoff, parody, pudding
Smash Me Bernie
Accused Ponzi schemer Bernard Madoff arrived today at federal court in New York, where he is expected to plead guilty to 11,000,000,000,000 criminal counts. FAQSMoney reports that Madoff is accused of stealing billions of dollars from more than 4,000 victims through his investment firm. If convicted, the 70-year-old defendant could face a maximum 150 billion-year sentence or a minimum of community service instructing Junior Business Leaders of America in the 5th grade.
Filed under: breaking news , bernie madoff, court, madoff, new york, ponzi, shouting
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