The ONE real story you will ever read on FAQ News™

I started FAQ News as a creative idea while I worked for a comedic publication. I registered it on April Fools day of 2007 and due to the sliding economy, let it slide in 2009. Well, even though I still was the obvious Daddy of FAQ News & FAQNN, someone registered the names through “Go Daddy” all secret like.

Apparently, this fool isn’t familiar with common law and fair use. I can’t believe how much this happens on the interwebs.

At any rate, this fool went on the site the next day and proceeded to register FAQNN(tm) on May 14th of 2009. Thick headed dolt! Again, couldn’t think of something for themselves. Couldn’t “get it up, eh?” 4th rate thief – unoriginal, over-privileged, spineless bore… I bet you’re just full of computer chair fat.

You’ re a bastard, I have your number. I’ll eat you alive.

Founder, Creator and Owner of the names; FAQNews.™ and FAQNN.™

Filed under: breaking news

Walking Tall Star, Neal McDonough Seen Boating in Manitowac, Wi

Filed under: breaking news, celebrity , boating, celebrity sighting, manitowac, mayor, neal mcdonough

Crisco Candy Diet “A Lot of Fun”

Filed under: breaking news, faq , candy, cisco crisco, suite, sweets

Mr. Marbles Addicted to Porn.

Filed under: breaking news , comedy, funny, lol, porn

The People Court presents… The Bernie Shoutoff

Smash Me Bernie

Accused Ponzi schemer Bernard Madoff arrived today at federal court in New York, where he is expected to plead guilty to 11,000,000,000,000 criminal counts. FAQSMoney reports that Madoff is accused of stealing billions of dollars from more than 4,000 victims through his investment firm. If convicted, the 70-year-old defendant could face a maximum 150 billion-year sentence or a minimum of community service instructing Junior Business Leaders of America in the 5^th grade.

Filed under: breaking news , bernie madoff, court, madoff, new york, ponzi, shouting

Pentagon Says Chinese Vessels Harassed U.S. Ship

(FAQ) — The Pentagon said Monday that Chinese ships harassed a U.S. surveillance ship Sunday in the South China Sea in the latest of several instances of “increasingly aggressive conduct” in the past week.

During the incident, five Chinese vessels “Name-called, pointed at, and even exposed themselves to the U.S. vessel,” the Pentagon said in a written statement.

The crew members aboard the vessels, two of which were within 50 feet, waved Chinese flags and told the U.S. ship to leave the area and told them to go home, the statement said.

“The U.S. vessel had no confidence at all and merely shrugged it off,” the statement said. “The Chinese crewmembers disrobed to their underwear in order to make the U.S. vessel feel ashamed.”

A Pentagon spokesman called the incident “one of the most aggressive actions we’ve seen in some time. We will certainly let Chinese officials know of our hurt feelings.”

He said the Chinese crew members used poles to try and touch the U.S. ship’s “special area.”

The Pentagon cited three previous instances of what it described as harassment, the first of which occurred Wednesday, when a Chinese Bureau of Fisheries Patrol vessel used a spotlight to illuminate the pock-marked hull of the U.S. ship

The next day, a Chinese frigate approached the U.S. ship “and proceeded to tell the ship it smelled like poo,” which was followed less than two hours later by a Chinese freighter telling the U.S. ship, “Nobody likes you. You smell funny.”

“The freighter then crossed the U.S. ship’s bow yet again, this time at a range of approximately 400-500 yards without rendering courtesy or notice of her intentions.”

And on Saturday, a Chinese intelligence collection ship challenged the U.S. ship over bridge-to-bridge radio, “calling her a big fatty,” the statement said.

In 2001, a U.S. surveillance plane collided with a Chinese fighter jet and made an emergency landing on China’s Hainan Island, where the Chinese held the plane for 11 days, asking it for milk money before releasing them.

Filed under: Military, Politics, breaking news , china, feelings, harasses, milk money, pentagon, south china sea, surveillance, us vessels

Biden eats his words in Milwaukee.

Milwaukee, Wisconsin (FAQ) Vice presidential nominee Joe Biden is known for his outstanding foreign relations experience and his embarrassing gaffes. Today Joe exemplified those qualities at a planned visit at the Pfister Hotel in Downtown Milwaukee.

Joe started his speech off on the wrong foot and soon found himself eating it…

“I’m glad to be in Cleveland, always loved Cleveland, the people, the waterfront, what’s not to like about Cleveland?” As a campaign manager leaned over to correct him on his location, Joe waved a long arm to shoo him and smile that big Senator grin. Joe was soon back on script and spoke of Globalization and what challenges are coming to the average American.

Filed under: Politics, breaking news, faq , bail out, biden, cleveland, cleveland steamer, cudahay, debate, economy, gaffe, milwaukee, obama, pfister, president, presidential, presidential debate, satire, senator biden, veep, vp

Pop vs. Soda (and Coke) map totally biased against Pepsi

(FAQ) The schoolyard tactics used by professional cartographer Matthew T. Campell are CLEARLY BIASED catering to the Red States & the Coke brand in his popular map listed below. Not one area of the country is represented by Pepsi-Cola, nor is it even factored into the equation by anything more than a negligible “other” catagory.

Pepsi-cola released a statement Wednesday to counter the Coca-Cola campaining, accusing it of schoolyard tactics and what is best for America.

“Pepsi-Cola loves this country to much to let cartographer, Matthew T. Campell and his nutwing posse to decide America’s future with phoney politics and name calling.”

Coca-cola hasn’t released a statement perhaps due to the fact that Coke equated a lipstick-map smear job at Pepsi in 2006. While America rages on in two wars, one war was on everyone’s mind today, the cola wars.

Filed under: Entertainment, Politics, breaking news, faq , bias, coke, cola, cola wars, lipstick, map, mccain, obama, pepsi, pepsi-cola, pop, soda, soda vs. pop, wars

“I gotta go!” by Governor Sarah Palin

(En route to Alaska) OMG the lower 48!!!, I got so many chaht-skis fer the fam. I’m excited to tell everyone. O guess some views and things I did in the past that are ok for Barrow ain’t so good in Bakersfield if you know what I’m saying. So what I mean is that in small town everybody knows everybody, sometimes a little too well (wink wink) and in Bakersfield you try ta stay the heck out of people’s way! So I need to watch these Princess Diaries and All the president’s men, and hope that no one finds out about my Deep Throat!

So, I gotta go America, I love you and feel free to ask me questions while I’m up in Santa’s workshop as I like to call it. Thanks fer the cheers and the Moose tracks in Cedarburg!

So drop questions and I’ll try ta answer them at the govenor’s lodge, but if I appear to be stonewallin’ due to some of the ruckus I may have caused, just ask me on my new blog, (asksarah.wordpress.com) unless you are from the daily kos, they warned me about you liberal jerks that want to take our guns away. Bear hugs fer everybody, I gotta go!

Filed under: Communications, Historical, Politics, breaking news , alaska, ask sarah, chaht-skis, interview, liberal, palin, questions, sarah p, satah palin, scandal, stonewall, tactics

FAQ Sarah Palin Diary pt. 1

(Wasilla, Alaska) ”I often find myself in the middle of a snowstorm, or surrounded by boys, or whatever the heck the day is gonna throw at me that [Digg]day. Many times it’s my kids. Hey, I don’t want to bring them into politics, but I do want to talk about them alot – they are most of what I do fer heavens sake. If not, leave ‘em alone fer a minute and jeesh – and it’s father like son, but with us girls. So Heaven’s sake. And that’s not just an expression, heavan’s sake, it’s the truth. Just ask the big man upstairs that is in charge, he’s watchin’ over us ya know. Man o man he is definately in charge, just look at all the good fortune I got now. A boy in a war – so proud, so proud. You know something though, it’s nice to get ‘em outta the house – some of the kids can get a little ranbuncous, just looks what happens when I leave ‘em alone one night, when you think they are just holdin’ hands – ay ay ay – gottgit my grandma boots on! I really work too much to focus on them right now, that’s fer my hubby, big guy. God love em. Ohhhh so ya know,  I had a Moose tracks ice cream in Cedarburg yesterday and i gotta burn that off in a step class right about now and my blackberry is driving me just up the wall. I’ll post some Flickr pics of my trip back to Alaska when I get there to hole out fer a while, there’s a fricking sh*tstorm comin’ with interviews, and naked pics, and god knows what else they got in that pipeline, but it ain’t oil! Vew Part Two “Interview Jitters“

Filed under: Entertainment, Politics, Sports, breaking news, faq , alaska, diary, election 2008, faq, gop, govenor, interview, mccain, media, naked, news, Politics, republican, sarah palin, satire, sexy, sportscaster, vice president, washington