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Pop vs. Soda (and Coke) map totally biased against Pepsi

(FAQ) The schoolyard tactics used by professional cartographer Matthew T. Campell are CLEARLY BIASED catering to the Red States & the Coke brand in his popular map listed below. Not one area of the country is represented by Pepsi-Cola, nor is it even factored into the equation by anything more than a negligible “other” catagory.

Pepsi-cola released a statement Wednesday to counter the Coca-Cola campaining, accusing it of schoolyard tactics and what is best for America.

“Pepsi-Cola loves this country to much to let cartographer, Matthew T. Campell and his nutwing posse to decide America’s future with phoney politics and name calling.”

Coca-cola hasn’t released a statement perhaps due to the fact that Coke equated a lipstick-map smear job at Pepsi in 2006. While America rages on in two wars, one war was on everyone’s mind today, the cola wars.

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Favre scored some really awesome touchdowns today.

Brother Brosif

(Miami, Florida FAQ) Today Brett Favre threw some really awesome touchdowns. It is really cool because he threw them against Chad Pennington’s Miami Dolphins.

Why is that cool? Chillax brosif and let me explain.

Brett Favre is a future hall of famer dude that keeps playing in consecutive games, winning games, selling jersey’s, and just being the good ole workhorse that fans count on for being awesome. If Chad and Brett were twins, Chad Pennington is the DeVito to Favre’s Schwarzenegger. So basically Chad Pennington sucks. Anyway it’s cool because Favre was suppose to retire, but he is keeping his streak alive and winning games for his team. A team that was Chad Pennington’s until they fired him and hired Favre. Cool huh? Not if you are Chad Pennington. Anyways Favre threw a brick and a bomb so far that I saw and it ruled – take that CP!

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FAQ Sarah Palin Diary pt. 1

(Wasilla, Alaska) ”I often find myself in the middle of a snowstorm, or surrounded by boys, or whatever the heck the day is gonna throw at me that [Digg]day. Many times it’s my kids. Hey, I don’t want to bring them into politics, but I do want to talk about them alot – they are most of what I do fer heavens sake. If not, leave ‘em alone fer a minute and jeesh – and it’s father like son, but with us girls. So Heaven’s sake. And that’s not just an expression, heavan’s sake, it’s the truth. Just ask the big man upstairs that is in charge, he’s watchin’ over us ya know. Man o man he is definately in charge, just look at all the good fortune I got now. A boy in a war – so proud, so proud. You know something though, it’s nice to get ‘em outta the house – some of the kids can get a little ranbuncous, just looks what happens when I leave ‘em alone one night, when you think they are just holdin’ hands – ay ay ay – gottgit my grandma boots on! I really work too much to focus on them right now, that’s fer my hubby, big guy. God love em. Ohhhh so ya know,  I had a Moose tracks ice cream in Cedarburg yesterday and i gotta burn that off in a step class right about now and my blackberry is driving me just up the wall. I’ll post some Flickr pics of my trip back to Alaska when I get there to hole out fer a while, there’s a fricking sh*tstorm comin’ with interviews, and naked pics, and god knows what else they got in that pipeline, but it ain’t oil! Vew Part Two “Interview Jitters

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Pros & Cons of a Palin Presidency

Pros:

pros and cons of a palin presidency

1. Lady in the white house

2. Mom in the white house

3. MILF

Cons:

1. Justice & Miranda rights come after priority #1, “Gettin’ ‘em”

2. Pitbull with lipstick would be tough on Latin American Greeting ritual

3. Mayor doesn’t have enough Stratego Points to take

out Commander

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Obama: “I get It, McCain doesn’t get It.”

obama gets it

Barack Obama gets "It"

(Denver, Colorado). “John McCain doesn’t get It.” A quote that very may well turn the tide for the Democratic hipster in 2008.

On a truly historic night where America was catapulted into the 21st century by one man’s vision family, friends, and cousin It anxiously watched our future unfold at Mile High Stadium. Yes, tonight belonged to Barack Obama, a man reigned supreme on decisive issues facing this nation from abortion to gay rights and the right to bear arms all the way to the economy, and the old guard of John McCain. This speech was was clearly of a different tone than his breakthrough 2004 speech at the DNC, but the speech played very well in the unconventional stadium setting addressing things from global energy to his humble origins born in the Heartland. Barack loves our country, McCain loves our country, but let’s not have 4 more of the same and move on towards change in the 21st century.

“John McCain doesn’t get It.” – Barack Obama

That being said, let’s delve into the vision of these two men. No matter what you take from the DNC or hope to expect to see in the GOP, one difference is clear. Obama gets It, McCain does not get It.

It defines us, It is a beacon of a future of finding a common ground. says Obama. On the other hand, McCain of the old guard pedigree refuses to concede or find anything funny about It.

John McCain remembers the old Addams family series as part of every American’s fall lineup. “Of the three channels available, I have always been a fan of the news programs, no fancy stories or hullabaloo. If people want to watch a comedic drama with the stars of the day such as Jerry Lewis, Cousin It, or red button’s – so be it – but my money is on Cronkite.”

“He just don’t understand what the American people want, and I just don’t get It!” says John McCain.

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FAQ: CNN Reporter Richard Quest busted in New York with Crystal Meth

New York, NY- CNN Report Richard Quest was recently busted in New York’s Central park with Crystal Meth, which is well… not anything FAQ News didn’t see coming. When in the field Quest has a demanding schedule – flying red eye flights to Istanbul, Cairo, Auckland sometimes on the same day. It’s impressive – FAQ News has trouble doing multiple errands in the same city on over an entire weekend. Not that we aren’t committed, we are, but this “Quest is a Machine” He is anywhere that needs his attention. It is little wonder how he kept up with such a demanding schedule – Meth. Or as Quest might say, “Next on the Sed-du-el…Meth!”

Video Link:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ROytPFkr7pU

“CNN Reporter Richard Quest Arrested With Crystal Meth”


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Rob Lowe Nanny Scandal TOTALLY Important.

Hollywood, CA- Sit back in your seats and get some popcorn, Rob Lowe sex allegations are here again. Yes, robe lowe sex scandalwhat is old is new again, the 80’s heart throb and 90’s comeback star is all over the TV because this news is “Totally” important. Not important in the Heather Mills/Paul McCartney sense, or Bradgelina – but wait, yes, just like Bradgelina. This is a case where reporters need to look up information on TMZ and re-report it, or just simply, “port it” on their news networks such as we are doing here today.

“Obviously the American people have spoken, tax time, fuel, and economies of scale are boring and just confuse people, but a controversal sex scandal??? he… he…. DYNAMITE!”- Bud Calexico, paparazzi and father of three children born out of wedlock.

More details on this story can be gathered from walking by magazine stands and quickly making up your mind as to what really happened and only time will reveal the raw truth in the historical timeline of the United States of America.

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